ASK OTETS: How does one prepare for the Holy Eucharist?
Question:
Hello Father Jaroslaw,
I would like to ask you a question about the Holy Eucharist. I haven't communed for some time. The last time I did so, it would suffice to say that I did not feel anything along the lines of strengthening, of both mind and spirit. I concluded that, in ignorance, I partook of the Eucharist in unworthiness. However, I cannot exactly point to what I did wrong.
I think it may have been my lack of fasting on Wednesday and Friday; however, I tend to think of these things legalistically, as if they were a formula, so this may not even be something that is all too relevant. But I suppose my question would be, how does one prepare for the Holy Eucharist? Is there a time during which we must fast? Is it only the Wednesday and Friday fasts, or do we add a period of fasting? Must confession be taken a day prior at least, or can it have taken place a week prior?
A second question is, how exactly does the Holy Eucharist benefit us in a visible manner? Personally, I think I've only partaken of the Eucharist ...times. I failed to notice any sort of difference, and the last time I partook, I failed miserably in my fight against temptation, leading me to doubt the very authenticity of the Holy Mystery. Prayers felt empty, and the only thing keeping me in Christ was my rationality. And a secondary question is... If participating in the Holy Mystery requires a period of fasting prior to, whether this be the Wednesday and Friday fast or fasting in general, how would I go about fasting this week, as it is fast-free? Is the fast-free rule authoritative in the sense that we cannot fast during this week? And must I take confession a day prior, even though I have done so this Sunday?
Forgive me, Father, for asking so many questions. I hope reading this letter did not take up too much of your time.
In Christ,
Member of St. Volodymyr CathedralAnswer:
Glory be to Jesus Christ! Glory to Him Forever!
Dear parishioner,
I want to express my sincere thank you for your honest and down-to-earth questions. I would love to have more individuals such as yourself who would be able to ask similar questions in a similar manner. God bless.
At this point, I will write only a few of my observations, as your question is extremely difficult to answer in a period of a couple of sentences or even chapters. In your questions, you have touched on so many subjects and so many issues that could all be treated separately. Because of the complexity of the questions, I will deal only with some of them. In the meantime, please continue coming for Holy Confession and the Holy Eucharist.
Fr. Jaroslaw“I FAILED, I FAILED MISERABLY IN MY UNWORTHINESS…”: Eucharist, Confession, Fasting. Pastoral Reflections for the Faithful of the Orthodox Church
Written by Fr. Dr. Jaroslaw BucioraBased on your questions and your email, I can see that you are experiencing a spiritual battle inside of you. It is a battle not only on the spiritual level, but this battle affects your daily life. The fact that you can discern the dichotomy of life is a blessing in itself. It seems to me that you have the ability to go beyond the question of faith into a practical application of faith in daily life. Never stop challenging yourself with those questions, but also have the ability and strength to leave some answers for God.
The Holy Eucharist is not a subject of explanation but a reality of faith itself. If everything would be explained, there wouldn’t be a need for the existence of faith and belief. In your rational approach, there is, at the same time, a sense of disbelief and a magnet that draws you to faith. This might be a classical way of an inner conflict inside of you that only time and trust in God will be able to answer. In this context, I would strongly suggest for you to be patient and allow your faith to grow. The ability to grow spiritually is not a question of measurement, but it is a question of lifelong efforts that goes deep down into our daily struggle of any kind. In our Church, we never separate today from tomorrow, daily life from Church life, spiritual life from time at work or school.
Contemporary theologian and scholar, Christos Yannaras strongly emphasized the fact that to be a Christian is a full-time job and a complete dedication. It is a response to God’s call to become holy as God is holy (Romans 1:7, 1 Corinthians 1:2). In your situation, try your hardest to be as God created you in any kind of daily situation: whether it is in a store or Church, time with friends or a walk in the park.
We have to continually remind ourselves the fact that we are not a coincidence in God’s plan of creation. God never makes any mistakes, even though we may think this way. This means that, even though you struggle and feel unworthy of the Eucharist, you are still very unique and the only person God will ever create. This means that you possess a divine dignity, which will never be taken from you. There is a divine plan and purpose for everyone. Because of this gift, even though marginalized and forgotten by our personal struggles, God calls us back through the Eucharist to our paradistic destiny. Only at the moment of continual spiritual stability and inner peace you can experience the real “sweetness of Eucharist”. Do not expect the Eucharist on Sunday to change you instantly if you are not able to live the Eucharist during the week.
One of the Orthodox theologians, Ion Bria from Romania, made a remarkable observation regarding this element. He explained this very eloquently, saying that after the Divine Liturgy on Sunday, there begins another Liturgy after the Liturgy, which is our daily life. It is a Liturgy of life, which is characterized by daily challenges and struggles. The Eucharist is not “magic” in itself as a sort of “opium” in other religions. The Eucharist requires a sincere and stable relationship with God and a continual effort that helps us to become the “walking icons of Jesus Christ” (P. Evdokimov). As such, the Eucharist is a new life that changes us as long as we change ourselves. Only in this kind of approach you can move into a deeper experience of the reality of God. In order to use a rational approach, as you seem to emphasize, I will bring to your attention a very simple example.
Deeper sweetness
From daily life, the example of a deeply committed marriage might be the best example. Marriage is not only love at first sight, as important as it is. Marriage requires a life-long commitment and a continual dedication to each other in daily life. Only after the trial and tribulations of a particular marriage there is a sort of “deeper sweetness” that is only tasted experientially. In our marriages, we may fall and rise, we might be hurt and be healed, but we never lose sight of our commitment. The fruit of this kind of dedication I see quite often at the nursing homes, where married spouses, after long life trials and health tribulations, are still able to contemplate each other on their journey “home”.
In the aspect of the Eucharist, our loving God will never abandon us or leave us alone. Our faith is a lifelong journey that carries us beyond the daily struggles. The Holy Eucharist is a life in God that never fails to act, even though we are not ready to react. Do not expect instant satisfaction or superficial glorification. This is one of the reasons why the Orthodox Church is so different from other Christian churches, where instant happiness is emphasized in order to make people “instantly happy”. We also avoid to search for benefits for our faith. Everything that we get in our lives is a gift from God. Even the gifts of the Holy Spirit are given to us not because we deserve them but because they are given to us freely. The closer we come to God, the more gifts we may appreciate in our lives. Those things we leave to God, who knows what is beneficial for our spiritual development, as He is closer to me than I am to myself (Blessed Augustine).
Worthiness and unworthiness
The question of worthiness and unworthiness is a closely connected question to the aforementioned. From the perspective of man, because of our failures like the ones you mentioned in your email, we are always unworthy to accept the Holy Eucharist. Even for the most dedicated and saintly monks, there is a continual perception of their unworthy state. But for those same monks, there is constantly an aspect of hope that God will complete what is lacking in their lives. The Sacrament does not depend on the worthiness of the believer, but is given by God to a member of the Church in order to achieve holiness. God completes and sanctifies what is unrecognizable and imperfect in our daily commitment to God. It is only fair at this moment to quote one of the most prolific Orthodox theologians of the twentieth century, A. Schmemann, who wrote:
“No one has been ‘worthy’ to receive communion, no one has been prepared for it. At this point, all merits, all righteousness, all devotions disappear and dissolve. Life comes again to us as a gift, a free and divine gift. This is why in the Orthodox Church we call the Eucharistic elements holy gifts. Adam is again introduced into Paradise, taken out of nothingness and crowned king of creation. Everything is free, nothing is due and yet all is given. And therefore the greatest humility and obedience is to accept the gift, to say yes – in joy and gratitude. There is nothing we can do, yet we become all that God wanted us to be from eternity, when we are Eucharistic”.
In the context of the Divine Liturgy, we never see ourselves as independent, concentrating solely on our own spiritual achievement. We ask God the Father to send down His Holy Spirit on the gifts and all participants, regardless their points of merits.
From this perspective, God is on our side as He continuously pours His Divine love towards the created world. God works with each one of us in order to bring us back to everlasting life. We cannot forget that God does everything possible in His divine power, to the point of sending His Son and Holy Spirit, to make sure that we have the capacity to come Home. Everything has been accomplished on the cross of Christ except one thing. God is waiting for our response as we are free beings able to reject God Himself. This is the greatness of the Christian God, nowhere to be found among the other religions. This is the magnitude of God’s infinite love towards every human being. Don’t despair over your shortcomings, as God is constantly waiting for our return to His Home. The example of the Prodigal Son is the most expressive of God’s forgiveness towards humanity. This is one of the reasons why the Orthodox Church emphasizes in her liturgical life the Sacrament of Holy Confession.
The Sacrament of Confession
Although we fail, God, through the sacrament of Holy Confession, brings us back to the original state of life. This is one of the reasons why confession is a continual effort, a constant act on the part of a believer who uses this venue in order to come back. It is not an annual event, as we are used to believe, but a daily occurrence that rejuvenates our lives. Let the confession be your “daily bread” of spiritual development. We have to develop a habit in our lives to confess regularly. In the situation when we confess on a regular basis, we will never rush in our confession or look for another priest who asks less questions. Please also remember that each one of us has the ability to develop our spiritual life and eventually to partake in God’s life according to our own unique ability and in a specific manner. In this development, you will find your specific individual conditions and the means that God provides. All the conditions and means will be specific and conditionally personal. Only you know the parameters of your personal life struggles, daily limitations and conditions. But from the other perspective, as this was emphasized by a newly proclaimed saint of the Romanian Orthodox Church, Dumitru Stainloae, there are as many ways to sanctify our life as there are many people in the world. According to our Orthodox understanding, this is the main reason why each one of us will answer for what we have done. For God, there is no higher or more praiseworthy person than the other. In front of God, all of us are equal and important as any person in the world, regardless of their age, position, time of life or personal accomplishments. This means your calling is to find your own specific way to sanctify your personal life, as God will complete the rest.
Never give up
Never give up, as it is God, Who, knowing and loving His chosen nation, gave His only begotten Son that we might be with Him in a place destined for all of us:
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
If God believes in all of us and loves all of us, do we have enough strength to answer His call and to say, “Lord, have mercy”? All that is needed is to discover the will of God and engage our “pure desire to see, to hear, to understand, and to obey” (Matthew 13:13-14; Mark 8:18). It is a challenge that pulls all through the stages of empty prayers, unbelief, daily failures, suffering, struggles, loneliness, pain, and spiritual confusion. We want to continually remind ourselves that we live in a time of a disintegrated human community, characterized by divisions and dislocations of our families. In a way, we live a lonely life searching for God in order to reconstitute to a traditional koinonia: the heart of Christian human civilisation. I love the line from one of the contemporary books that says:
“... victory belongs to those who believe the most and who believe the longest”.
Faith and hope are sometimes the only things left in our lives. After years of challenges, we come home, where God created for us a new reality that we call: the bosom of Abraham, a place of sweetness, a place of eternal joy. This is exactly our hope that never gives up, but continually carries us into new dimensions of life. In retrospect, this is the answer to the words of Blessed Augustine, who said:
“All of us are in search for peace, but only so few can find it.”
After years of struggles, unrest, frustrations and confusion, God will bless us with His unconditional love, which we are so eagerly searching for in our lives.
On a practical level, please never stop participating in the mystical life of the Church and the services, even though this appears impossible and impenetrable, considering our societal challenges and urban difficulties. Increase the level of your personal attentiveness with others, even though contemporary urban isolation and interconnectedness has become a real problem within our society. Try the best to be the voice of hope in your surrounding world, which desperately searches for glimpses of hope. From the other perspective, be faithful to God’s will to and in the conditions you find yourselves:
“God has made us who we are. He has put us where we are, even when it is our own self-will that has moved us. He has given us specific destiny”.
The ability to be faithful in the specific environment, conditions and difficulties is the fruit to “blossom where we are planted”. Be attuned to the grace of God, which comes from the guidance of the saints and the pure heart of your consciousness, but never separate yourselves from the community of the Church. Please remember, our societal life continually configures itself according to a specific environment, but God is always the same, always faithful, always listening to the voice of the smallest and most insignificant faithful of His Church:
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8)
About fasting
In your email, you have spent a considerable time on the aspect of fasting. It is admirable on your part that you have implanted in yourself the continual commitment of fasting. Glory be to God for your parents who implanted in your life such a positive approach. I don’t want to dwell too long on this subject, as there is so much to say. But even fasting has to be taken in the context of the above said. Fasting is a life-lifting atmosphere to increase the ability of an individual to increase the level of hunger for God. The most advanced method of fasting is complete abstinence from food. This method is a gift that is achieved only by the chosen ones: spiritually advanced monks or hermits. It is never advised for the ordinary members of the Church. For us who live in the world, there are some basic rules of fasting that allow us to prepare physically and spiritually to receive the Holy Eucharist. The most basic of fasting before the Holy Eucharist is the abstinence from food from midnight. We approach the Holy Eucharist with the Holy Confession and hunger of the body. There are also fasting days during the week or prescribed fasting periods in the year. But as you see, fasting is a method to achieve something higher: “unity with God”. We should never absolutize fasting as the centre of our life. Fasting is not an ultimate goal of a believer or an exaggerated rule, which suffocates the simplicity of the Eucharistic substance and pulls away a member of the Church from the compassion of Christ. Fasting is an effort that brings us closer to myself and ultimately to God. Fasting is a way approach on behalf of us to understand my attitude towards God, myself and others. One thing we can do is to try our best to follow the rules of fasting. With a sincere heart, God will complete the void in our lives.
In conclusion
I’m aware of the fact that I did not answer all your questions, as I never intended to answer them all. It is my hope that some of my thoughts will stimulate your further thinking in order to create inside of you a foundation for continuous dialogue. As long as faith is an experiential and continual journey towards holiness, God will bless you in this field of spiritual battle.
With prayers,
Fr. Jaroslaw